Why I Wrote my Grief Book for Miscarriage & Infertility

Jessica Field
5 days ago
3 min read

If you’ve ever navigated the lonely world of miscarriage or infertility, you know the pain that often surrounds these topics. People want to offer platitudes, silver linings, and "at least" statements, because they care about you, but there are never any words that can provide a balm for your grief.

Rather than words, you need presence - to be seen. I know this first hand because this has been my journey.

I wrote my new book, There’s Not a Baby at the End of This Story: A Candid Guide to Grieving Miscarriage & Infertility, because I spent eleven years looking for a book that didn’t exist. I needed a guide that was as raw as my reality, as honest as my grief, and—strangely enough—allowed me to laugh at the absurdity of it all.

Breaking the Silence

The journey to parenthood isn’t always a straight line; for many of us, it’s a road of heartbreak. After navigating four miscarriages and unexplained infertility, I realized that life doesn’t always go to plan. I got married for the first time around at the same time as my brother and two cousins. Fast forward ten years to a really fun Thanksgiving with their six children under the age of six - we were all dancing and having so much fun when I took it all in and saw three families looking the way we had imagined four to look, yet there I was, freshly divorced and grieving a miscarriage. Grief can pop up even in the most joyous of moments.

I wrote this book to:

Validate the "Zero Babies" Experience: Much of the literature on loss focuses on "staying positive" for the next time. This book is for the people who are facing a different ending.
Bring Shadows to Light: We talk about the tough stuff—from the invasive "When are you having kids?" questions to the bizarre things we do while trying to conceive (TTC). I hope you’ll laugh like my husband (new and God-given) and I have.
Offer Professional Insight with a Personal Touch: Combining my personal experience with my professional background, I wanted to create a resource that felt like talking to a friend who actually gets it.

This Isn’t Your Average Grief Book for Miscarriage and Infertility

Most books on loss focus solely on the "how-to" of moving on. I wanted to focus on the "how-to" of being where you are. This book is a hybrid—part memoir, part evidence-based toolbox.

What You’ll Find Inside:

Raw narrative - an honest look at 11 years of loss, shared with humor and grace.

Humorous comebacks and silly stories - practical and impractical ways to handle unsolicited advice and painful questions, and honest takes on all things fertility

The science of grief - a clear understanding of what grief is and how it unfolds.

Interactive tools - journal prompts and other exercises designed to help you explore your unique loss.

A path forward - strategies for self-compassion, forgiveness, and meaning-making as you wonder, what now?

An Invitation to Be Seen

If you are struggling with the universal weight of loss, please know this: You are not alone. This book is an invitation to step out of the shadows and into a space where your grief is honored.

Whether you are currently in the trenches of infertility or you are trying to make sense of a life that looks different than you planned, I wrote this for you. We might not have the life we thought we would at this point, but we can have healing, hope, and a way forward.

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