Think about your life as an experiment where you can observe yourself and others and collect data to figure out who you are, what drives you, and the impact you want to have on the world.
Through trial and error you will end up with various outcomes and note their impact on you and the world. You can then make adjustments to your actions, thoughts, and how you relate to others in order to work toward the outcomes that matter most to you.
I like to think of life as an experiment because with this mindset we are more likely to be present and curious, and less likely to get hung up on perfection or making mistakes. Furthermore, if we can offer ourselves this grace, perhaps we can see others as people in a life experiment and offer them more grace when they are imperfect, too.
I often use this "life is an experiment" analogy when I work with people going through transitions: changing jobs, approaching retirement, learning who they are after divorce or empty nesting, or relearning their world after a death. When we are going through a big transition, we tend to put pressure on ourselves to "get it right" or skip some of the steps toward healing to appear like we have it all figured out. This is usually supported by black-and-white thinking (also called all-or-nothing, or should-or-shouldn't, or right-or-wrong thinking). This type of thinking gives us a sense of comfort because it has drawn the line for what we should want, how we should feel, and what the right way to be is. If we can stay inside the lines, we should be just fine and WE WILL STAY SAFE. The problem with this is that authentic life is lived in the gray, or the in-between. Safety is not guaranteed; therefore, living with dualistic thinking is not only unattainable, but it sets us up for more loss.
When we approach times of transition as an experiment, we can set aside judgement (or let go of the should's and should not's) and release our attachment to outcomes. Experiments set out with a hypothesis, or an idea of how something might turn out, but they leave the door open for the real outcome and allow whatever happens, to happen. By being open, brave, and curious on our life experiment, we can be surprised by outcomes that we were unable to imagine and we can collect data that deepens our understanding of ourselves.
If you find yourself in a time of transition, and want to try to approach it like an experiment, here are some things that you can say to yourself:
How interesting that I find myself here.
I am curious to see what happens as I try new things/enter this new role/continue life without (insert loss here).
I will be attuned to how my body reacts and how I feel (perhaps you will even journal this data).
I will pay attention to those around me and how they interact with me, and how I interact with them (perhaps you will journal this data).
I am hopeful that I will be able to...or I am hopeful that (blank) will happen, AND I remain open to the unknown outcomes that may occur.
How do you feel about approaching your life as an experiment? Let me know in the comments.
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